


Evanescent

by illumis_cumdumpster



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cute Eren Yeager, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Manga & Anime, POV Mikasa Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29899932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illumis_cumdumpster/pseuds/illumis_cumdumpster
Summary: He questioned himself if it was really the sun that gave him light, because at that moment when he saw the stars dancing in her eyes, and when he watched her become one with nature, he realized; maybe it was Mikasa Ackerman all along.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Evanescent

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 138 broke me :D  
> Contains minor manga spoilers, it won't spoil everything hehe don't worry

Despite seeming cold and quiet exterior-wise, Mikasa couldn't stop the small smile dancing on her face upon tasting the cold treat. Whatever it was should've been in Paradis was exactly what she thought as she looked down at the dessert.

She liked how it melted on her tongue, and how cold yet sweet it was. It reminded her of him.

'Eren would probably like this. I'll just give this to him, then. I think he'll like it,' she thought to herself. 'Hopefully, this might put a little smile on his face, he's changed quite a lot,' an image of the pure and childlike smile he used to put on before popped in her head. She hoped to see it again after a while of seeing him in some type of 'phase' their captain Levi mentioned back then.

Looking around, she spotted Sasha and Connie from afar, walking to where they smelled something good, Levi and Hange a few feet away, mistaken for kids playing gangsters by a funny-looking man with a circle for his nose, and Armin by the ice cream stand she bought from just a minute ago. She could've sworn she saw Jean walking off to Hange and Levi, praising the ice cream he held.

Eyes scanning every inch of the scenery she was in for a certain someone, she spotted a figure she knew all too well leaning by the railings, hand in his pocket, the other holding his hat close to his thigh.

He looks around, eyes that once held hope but now hides so much mystery, giving what seems to be a mirror of curiosity as he looks to the side. His dark chocolate brown hair was starting to grow longer, and she wasn't going to deny that he did look good—not that she'd admit that, though. 

He looked unbothered and maybe—just maybe—intimidating to strangers with the lack of enthusiasm he held as his friends were scattered, trying out whatever their eyes could lay on. Despite being quiet and seeming uninterested, she believed he somewhat enjoyed it, judging from how relaxed his posture was. She wasn't going to lie, but she thought he looked good in his suit open.

She thought he looked beautiful.

Smiling slightly, she approached the man.

"Eren, you eat some too," she held out the cone as she stopped in front of him.

He glanced at her for a moment and at the treat. "Ice cream, huh.." He quietly said, eyes boring into the ice cream.

"You knew about it?" She asked, a glint of surprise on her face as she smiles.

He looked at her smiling face for a moment and shook his head, "I just know it because of my old man's memories."

He wasn't going to say it, but he had been looking at her for quite some time, and thankfully, nobody noticed. He thought she looked adorable, the way her eyes glinted in joy upon tasting the ice cream resembled a child; it almost reminded him of how he was back then when he was little. The way her lips curved into a smile, unaware of the residue settling on the corner of her mouth almost made him want to smile and approach her. 

She looked gorgeous in her hat and dress suit, but it felt new, as she usually wears her scout uniform, and not to mention that almost every day, it was bloody. Seeing her in something new that made her look pretty—not that she wasn't already but he wasn't going to submit to that thought as he perceived it to be embarrassing—it really did hit differently. It felt like they were living in a different world, in a different life. He wished it were in that case. 

She looked so innocent and pure, the way the sun illuminated a soft glow on her made her look so angelic and soft, the warmth from the sun made her cheeks rosy, and her smile looked so pretty that she looked different from how she was in Paradis. He saw the sparkle in her eyes, and for a moment, she was glowing.

He thought she looked beautiful.

But before she could notice, he looked away.

"Eldians from the internment zone could rarely eat it," he sighed. Gently, he held the cone, fingers brushing against hers as he took the ice cream from her.

He felt the softness of her fingertips, and suddenly, he thought how nice it would feel to hold her hand just as how he did when they were younger. 

Not expecting such thought, he mentally slapped himself. Dismissing it, he continued, "even though the outside world is so vast." He lifts the cone to his lips and bit a portion of the ice cream.

Mikasa fell quiet after that as he looked down.

He takes a step closer, raising his free hand for his fingers to come in contact with her. He carefully holds her chin, thumb gently tracing her bottom lip. He stares at her lips, wanting to lean in and just kiss the girl who was now staring at him in shock, unable to comprehend what had just happened. Carefully wiping off the residue sitting on the corner of her mouth, he quietly sighs and rests his thumb there.

He quietly admires her features, feeling them as his fingers, as gentle as he can, touches her cheek. The softness of her skin and how he just wants to touch them, the plumpness of her lips and how he wants to meet them with his as he cups her face, the way her hair was silky and soft that he couldn't help but want to run his fingers through them.

'Good thing she really cuts her hair short, she could've had an accident if it were longer,' he thought.

'I miss seeing it longer, though.'

Realizing what he had just done and thought, he draws his hand away. "Sorry, you had ice cream on your face," he said and looked down.

Mikasa merely nodded, "I—" she stopped, desperately thinking of words to say as she couldn't think of any. "Thank you," she softly smiled.

Before he could respond, he heard Levi's voice from afar. "Oi. This isn't your wallet."

Eren and Mikasa whipped their heads to the direction of their captain's voice, and there he was, holding a child's wrist. Said child was holding a money sack, and judging from where he was, Mikasa could tell it might have belonged to either Connie or Sasha, who wasn't aware of what was happening behind her. 

"A pickpocket!" A man exclaimed. 

"Another immigrant from an enemy nation, huh?" Another rhetorically asked and sighed.

Different comments coming from different people came one by one. Marleyans started to surround the little boy, who stood alone in the middle, looking lost and afraid. 

"How did you get here?" A man asked the boy. "Doesn't look like he understands," another commented. 

"He probably slipped into the boat," another man said, making the boy look around him in confusion.

Levi and the others stepped back, not knowing how to deal with the situation. No way he wasn't going to say it, but he felt bad for the boy. It reminded him of his childhood when he felt lost and alone, when his mother fell to deep and never-ending sleep, leaving him all by himself, knees bent to his chest as he silently suffered in the dark corner with no one else to comfort him. 

"How about we throw him overboard?" A man asked. 

"Nah, let's smash his hand instead!" Another arrogantly replied. 

"Let's have him hanged somewhere on the streets for everyone to see, then the number of petty thieves will surely go down." 

Mikasa stared at the men in shock and disgust, unable to grasp how people from outside the walls could be so cruel. 'It's not like he killed someone, he's literally a child,' she thought. 'He must've done that for a reason.' 

"That's overdoing it! My wallet is fine!" Sasha exclaimed, interrupting the men as she harshly tapped the man's shoulder in front of her. "It's okay! Nothing bad happened!" She continued, only for the man to side-eye her and scoff.

"That's not up to you, young lady." He replied. 

"We have to apply a severe punishment to set the example. It concerns us, who live and do business here," another man chimed in. 

Sasha fell quiet after that, he had a point after all. It was either they suffer and the boy rejoices, earning something he shouldn't have, or vice versa.

Mikasa decided not to cause any more trouble and stayed still, letting her superiors handle the situation. She could've ignored someone's presence creeping behind her, 

if it weren't for their hand slowly snaking its way to hold hers. 

She whips her head to her left to see Eren, looking calm and unbothered despite the situation in front of them. 

For a moment, her breath hitched, and her heart started beating rapidly as she felt his rough hand come in contact with hers. The way he made her feel nervous as he tightly holds her hand, the way it came off as sweet and endearing, made her close to seeing through the new facade he was putting on. 

It reminded her of the dream she had the night before.

'He's still in there, I hope,' she thought as she looked at him, almost as if she could see through the unbothered and quiet man, catching sight of the angsty, short-tempered, yet caring boy she grew up with and came to love.

He was pretty good at hiding his true side.

Or maybe this was the true side he was hiding.

She ignored the feeling and looked forward, looking at Levi and Sasha, hoping they'd do something to save the poor boy. She remained still, watching the scene in front of her unfold, trying to ignore the weird feeling residing in her as Eren held her hand. 

Whether he ate or disposed of the rest of the ice cream she didn't know, and she decided not to bother asking.

"More importantly, if it's a migrant who got driven out of his country, then he might be a subject of Ymir." An older man said, staring at the boy with a look of pure hatred.

The boy looked at him in shock, in fear of what was going to happen next. 

"In the last few years, every country has been conducting blood tests after all. It's not like one can sleep at night knowing that some blood from the devils might get mixed up in here." Another man blurted.

Eren furrowed his brows in anger and annoyance upon hearing the Marleyans' ignorant comments. He clutched Mikasa's hand, holding back from just biting his hand and destroying the fuck out of the damn city he was walking upon.

Before he could do anything, the boy was carried off, away from the Marleyans, keeping him from more of the punishment ideas they could offer. 

"Hey! What are you doing?!" A chubby man crossed his arms in disappointment.

"Who said it was a pickpocket? I just said it wasn't his wallet," Levi replied, walking away with the boy between his side and arm. "Cause it belongs to that kid's sister over there," he looks back, eyes glaring at Sasha, motioning for her to go along. 

"W-Well! It's a complicated family thing. Right? Big sis?" Hange nervously chuckled and waved her hand in dismissal. "Y-Yeah! My little brother ended up causing trouble!" Sasha stuttered, looking down and muttering apologies.

The men grunted in response, not buying the excuse they made up with. "What's with that hogwash?! Don't play us!" 

"Let's go," Levi walked away, ignoring the men. Jean looked at the men in confusion before following Levi and Armin, who panicked and hurriedly walked behind the two.

Mikasa and Eren exchanged looks before walking away to follow the group, not even letting go of each other's hands.

* * *

"Yeah, of course, we're here so that this future can be avoided," Hange says in response to Armin. "And to ask the 'Association for the Protection of Ymir's Subjects' or something to take the podium for the first time at the international forum taking place tomorrow."

"The idealogy of this organization still isn't being acknowledged," Kiyomi Azumabito replied.

"Yeah, well first off, we have to proceed cautiously and get to the bottom of it. Furthermore, if our wish to have an audience with this association comes true," the 14th commander paused. 

"They will make an announcement regarding Paradis' wish for peace," Kiyomi concluded.

"Yeah," Hange sighed and nodded.

"Of course, us members of the Azumabito clan shall spare no effort to assist you towards reaching peace. However, how feasible do you expect it to be?"

"I get that it's terribly difficult and terribly dangerous as well. However, that doesn't mean that we can't try our best." 

Mikasa sat still, listening to the conversation taking place right before her. She knew how tired Hange was, the look on the commander's face said it all. Everyone was tired, ever since they've found out it wasn't just about killing titans. She couldn't help but think of how Eren must be feeling. Was he confused? Pressured? 

Speaking of Eren, he wasn't around. She looked around yet couldn't find him.

"Where's Eren?" She asked, taking advantage of the silence filling the room.

* * *

"Eren," she called out to the man standing from afar.

Both of them were in some location with lots of tents, and there he was, standing in the middle of the countless tents the residents call 'home'.

"Don't you know you're the enemy's prime target? Everyone has been searching for you," she panted, asking the man whose back was turned against her. 

He seemed to be crying, for he wiped his face with his knuckles, she could tell despite being behind him, facing his back.

To her surprise, she saw the boy from earlier, waving his hand at them. 

"Is that the boy from earlier? Did something happen?" She asked, walking to reach Eren's side

"Nothing yet," Eren sighed, not even looking at her.

She looked at him in confusion, "What do you mean? Wait, this is.." She paused as she looked around her.

"This is where those who lost their homes from the war are living, the same as we were. One day, our everyday lives suddenly ended, and everything was stolen from us." Eren replied, eyes still trailed forward. "All of our freedom was stolen from us."

They kept quiet for a bit, staring at the family across them. 

The air felt a little heavy and tense, and for once, they shared a different type of silence, one that felt kind of uncomfortable, one that could tell they were missing something.

"Mikasa," Eren slowly turns to look at her. "Why do you concern yourself so much with me?" 

She looks at him in confusion, "huh?"

"Is it because you were saved by me as a child? Or is it because I'm family?" He took a step closer, looking at her with eyes of concern and curiosity.

He looked at her with so much care that she believed she was talking to the man she used to know, and not the different version he was showing his friends.

"What am I to you?"

The question made her heart pound, it made her hands feel clammy and words stuck in her throat. Anxiety and nervousness embraced her that she could almost hear her heart beating loud.

"Um.." She muttered, finding words to express what he was to her.

They fell victim to the growing silence that neither one of them can fill. All they could hear were the distant voices of the little boy's family. The warmth they felt earlier was replaced by the gushing of the cold wind. 

And at that moment, Mikasa's dream flashed before her eyes.

* * *

_Her steps came to a halt as he overtook, stopping in front of her as he bent down on one knee. She stared at him and tilted her head in confusion before asking, "Eren? What are you doing?"_

_He whips his head to look at her and flashed a smile, "You're probably exhausted from all the walking, Mikasa. Just hold on to me, I don't want you tired before we could even reach where I'm taking you."_

_Mikasa smiled before stepping closer to him and snaking her arms around his neck. She buried her head in the crook of his neck, taking in his smell. She felt his hair tickling her cheek, yet she paid no mind. Eren stood up, holding the back of her thighs for support, and continued walking._

_His hair had definitely grown longer, just an inch or two and it'll reach past his ears. He had a gentle look on his face—different from when they were still soldiers—as he walked, eyes set forward and feet leading them to wherever he said he'd take her to, calmly walking by the breathtaking sceneries they've passed by without fear or care of any danger lurking—he can easily take them down with a bite of his hand, after all._

_If he smelled like blood and sweat back then, then he must be completely a different person now? He smelled of oak firewood; pleasant, warm, and earthy, with a mixture of the flowers on the meadow where they live close by. It felt nostalgic, reminded her of the bittersweet childhood she had, both with her parents and Eren's family before life took away all the innocence she held on to._

_"Are we almost there?" She asked, resting her chin on his shoulder and looking at him._

_A light chuckle escaped from his lips. "Not that close, but I guess you can say that."_

_She mutters a small 'oh', earning a smile from the man supporting him._

_Tranquility and home were what she felt as they went on. Above them were the flock of birds flying free, and it reminded her of how they used to feel for said birds; envy. Envy for they were free, envy for they stuck together, not losing any of their loved ones as they soar free._

_But now, it was different, and all that jealousy was far gone._

_The wind felt cold and a shiver rushed down her spine as the air brushed against her skin._

_"Oh? Are you cold?" He stopped and looked at her._

_"A little," she replied._

_He gently set her down the ground and faced her. "Here," he took off his dark jacket and placed it on her shoulders. "What about you?" She asked with a look of concern, "you'll get cold too."_

_Eren smiled and cupped her face, "Well, we don't want the both of you getting cold, now do we?" He kissed her forehead, earning a small smile from her._

_They shared a few moments of silence before he spoke, "well, let's go?" He turns away from her, about to get down on one knee. "Yeah, but you don't have to carry me, though. I'm not tired anymore," Mikasa replied._

_"Huh? Are you sure?" He looked back, his smile fading away as concern clouded his features._

_Her eyes twinkled as she looked at the man in front of her. She stood still, not able to respond as she stared at him. At that moment, everything around them was a blur. The valleys, pine trees, flowers—everything but him—were nothing but an obscure image._

_She stared at him as the sun shone behind him, casting a soft glow on his hair, coloring it with the light. He looked like an angel, with that innocent and gentle look he gave, it was almost impossible for her to say no._

_It was hard to believe, the fact that he was there with her, all because he wanted to be with her. He carried her because he cared and didn't want her to be tired. Impossible._

_He loved her. Her._

_Out of all of the girls he could've chosen, he chose her. He could've loved someone like Historia, she's pretty, small, and really kind. She radiated sunshine, warmth, and joy, anybody in a bad mood can smile when she walks in._

_The moment he responded with concern and love in his eyes, held her, kissed her with care as if she was the most fragile thing in the world, and when she heard him ask with so much tenderness in his voice, was when she knew she was never going to let go._

_With reassuring eyes, she smiled, "I'm sure, don't worry."_

_He nodded and extended his hand for her to take. "Hold my hand?"_

_A flush crept up her face, and with the feeling of her heart going soft, she smiled and held his hand, letting their fingers intertwine._

_Eren led her to what seemed to be a large space. There were no flowers or trees; just the plain green grass that looked comfortable to sit on. The air mildly smelled of salt, mixed with the pleasant and earthy aroma from the soil, as sky droplets did kiss the earth not too long ago. She heard the sound of waves crashing against massive rocks, the vocalization of Arctic Terns was indeed quite loud, yet to her, it sounded pleasant._

_Starting to get the idea, she looked at Eren, "Eren, where are we?"_

_He smiled and walked forward, fingers still locked with hers, "see for yourself."_

_They reached the end of the cliff, and upon seeing what awaited them, Mikasa's mouth slowly fell open as she looked around her._

_The ocean was indeed vast, extending further until it met the sky through a thin line. From Mikasa's point of view, the clouds looked softer and fluffier, tempting her so much to dream of touching and laying on it. The sun was slowly setting, painting the sky in blended light blue, purple, pink, yellow, and orange. She watched as the waves come closer, crashing against the land._

_"Eren, this is beautiful," She gasped. "How did you find this place?"_

_He watched with a loving gaze as her lips curved to a smile, turning to an open door for soft laughs to escape from. He smiled as she walks forward, admiring the scene before their eyes. She indeed looked lovely with her eyes twinkling that reminded him of the stars they gaze at almost every night. The wind sent his jacket—that she wore—floating, and he thought she looked beautiful as the sea breeze blew her hair. The sun shone on her, its warm light making her glow, and to him, she looked like an angel._

_Or maybe she really was one._

_He questioned himself if it was really the sun that gave him light, because at that moment when he saw the stars dancing in her eyes, and when he watched her become one with nature, he realized; maybe it was Mikasa Ackerman all along._

_"I didn't know this place existed until I got lost and found myself here. You were the first I thought of after seeing this place." He said and walked, he stopped beside her, tasting the freedom they indulged. "I figured you'd love to live close by once we get married."_

_Upon hearing this, Mikasa frowned._

_"Eren, do you really want to get married? Or is it just because I've been with you ever since then?" She turns her head to look at him. "Are you only doing this since you have little time left?"_

_He looked at her, eyes widened from the surprise caused by the words that came out from her. "Of course I want to get married, I don't care about the time, Mikasa. I want to be with you, so I'm living the rest of my remaining years with you."_

_"Don't you feel irritated? I always stick to you, I keep on protecting you. You could've found someone else who's..like Christa, she's elegant, sweet, beautiful, and flawless."_

_He shook his head, eyes still checking out the ocean, "I don't like her that way. I'd rather be with you until I die. I have to admit, you were protective, but I get where you're coming from. I would've done the same if I were as strong as you. We're in our own world now, it's just the two of us, nobody's going to bother us any longer."_

_She nodded and looked down. There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment before she lifted her head. "If you had more time, would you still marry me? Or would you marry someone who's perfect?" She asked, not looking at him in the eye._

_Eren looked at her, admiring her features for a moment._

_"Mikasa," he said._

_She looked at him in response with uncertain eyes, afraid of what his answer was going to be._

_"Either way, I'd still be marrying the same person."_

* * *

She really wanted to tell him, she really did. But was it the right time?

To her, it wasn't, she wanted to tell him the truth in the right place, where there would be no other people around; where nobody was going to interrupt the conversation that they don't know about.

Thinking there was still another chance and time, she unhesitantly answered, unaware of what events her words will unfold—unaware that this was her first and only chance to the dream she thought would still happen even after what she's going to say next.

"You are family."

**Author's Note:**

> This was so rushed I wrote this in bed haha sorry


End file.
